Dreams: Iguana fireworks, Chicken alfredo and the wrong flight

These three dreams punctuated the week during which I had my birthday...


Dream no. 1 - Fireworks




In this dream, I am driving to the airport to pick up Emily. The car is parked inside a multi level garage, and when I get to the entrance of the garage, I wonder transiently if I will be able to recognise which one my car is. Once inside, I found it with surprising ease, a dark blue non-descript sedan of some sort.




I get into the driver's seat which is in the left - I must be in Europe, or North America? I wonder to myself. The car makes little noise as we exit the garage. The time is early evening, and there is still a glimmer of the daylight on the horizon. I drive to the airport and pick up Emily. The process goes smoothly and soon we are back on the highway heading back towards town.




We drive towards the garage but I take a wrong turn and it is a dead end. Making a 3-point turn, I try a side street which turns out to be a one-way street ending near a park. I make another turn and finally I can see the parking garage some distance away.


At that moment, several fireworks go off. We hear the whoosh and explosion in the air quite close to us. Emily is very excited by the fireworks and asks if we can get out and see. We park the car on the side of the road, in quite a dark place with little illumination. We get out of the car and gaze at the sky - 3 fireworks are simultaneously launched from all around us and they climb steadily, streaks of orange piercing the night sky. At the same time, they all explode right above us, forming a handful of shapes that look definitely like iguanas. More fireworks are launched, and every single one forms a pattern resembling iguanas.


I am totally stunned and we are looking at each other like - how could this be what we are seeing? Then I think I would like to take a photo to show S, and as I take out my phone he is calling on WhatsApp.


Happy Bastille day! He says, beaming with positive energy. Then I wake up.


When I wake up there is a singular thought on my mind, which I immediately wrote down.
Bottle the essence of joy, and revisit it often.


(There was a tiny post script to this dream, where I buy a croissant stuffed with berries called Daisy and attend a concert where they are playing Grieg's Schmetterling on the cello)




Dream no. 2 - Island


In this dream, I am on a huge cruise liner. I'm not sure if I am a passenger or a staff member. The cruise ship is so large that it looks like it could be the Ruby Princess, but I'm not sure if it really is.


We are sailing along the ocean and soon come near land. The edge of the land curves inward gently, and we go towards the bay. The cruise liner is parked some distance away from the actual land, because there is nowhere for it to dock. I see a beautiful crescent of flawless golden sand, fringed by gently palm trees.


This is a tropical paradise. I say to myself in the dream.


We get into rubber dinghies that seem like life boats and head towards the beach. Soon many hundred, if not thousands, of people have disembarked from the giant cruise liner. Lounge chairs and beach umbrellas appear from nowhere, and someone is playing music on a portable boombox. The serenity of the tranquil island paradise is utterly lost.


Someone drags me into the corner and says they are short a dancer for the Traditional Welcome Ceremony. Before I have a chance to protest, they have put a string of flowers in my hair and a grass skirt around my waist. I am pushed out with a ring of similarly decked out girls and we start singing some traditional song.


It's a hoax! I am desperately screaming in my head to the crowd, who click endless pictures of us and cheer us on. Finally the awful dance is finished, and the crowd is receding quickly. Without the rubber dinghies, I have no idea how they are disappearing.


I look around me and the detritus of sudden tourism is everywhere - discarded candy wrappers, half crushed beer cans, trampled flowers.. I feel disgusted and suddenly extremely hungry. I ask a lady in a suit if I can eat something before going back to the cruise liner and she said that she would check on my order. I tried to explain that I didn't order anything but she wouldn't hear of it - You ordered the creamy chicken pasta right? She says with an air of authority.


I am resigned to my creamy chicken pasta fate and even start dreaming about it - maybe it won't be so bad? She comes back and tells me that all the creamy chicken pasta has run out now (maybe the generic food choice of all cruise attending people?). She says I have to settle for Chicken Alfredo instead - What is that? I wonder, and I wake up


PS. Chicken Alfredo is a creamy chicken pasta dish!




Dream no. 3 - Flight


In this dream, I am on my way to the airport to pick up Emily. (Crazy... another airport dream!) When I get there, I think it's actually the arrivals hall of Charles du Gaulle, where I waited for her last year while she was clearing immigration.


I stand in the same spot - at a little bakery shop just outside the arrivals area. The area is quite crowded and there are lots of people milling about.


After a while I see S and he is as surprised to see me as I am to see him.
What are you doing here? He asks me incredulously.
I said that I was waiting for Emily and I asked him if they had come together somehow.


No way! We broke up ages ago. He said angrily and turned away from me in a huff.
I start apologising for not knowing that they had broken up - I didn't even know they were together! He is angry and says nothing to me.


Finally he says that he had come with someone else and he was still waiting for them. I noticed that he had no baggage at all, and he was standing there with his hands in his pockets.


I keep looking out for Emily while S completely ignores me. I start to feel a bit uncomfortable about his silence and think maybe I've said or done something wrong? (An awful feeling). Then suddenly he says, There's the person I'm looking for. And I look over to where he's pointing - a man is pushing a trolley with 6 or 7 large suitcases, stacked up so tall that I can barely see the man.


As he comes closer I realise it is a guy that I used to date 10 years ago! I was absolutely speechless to see S with this man and then I wake up.

In my kitchen: July 2020

Where does the time go? I truly cannot believe we are halfway through 2020! Covid has made me so aware of how many things in my life I feel grateful for.


In my little garden....

Many of my Mr Peas have been eaten by bugs, slugs and snails, also grasshoppers.. but there has been the occasional adorable snow pea.

The radishes have been maturing, though the soil seems to fall away from the tops of them and they get eaten by various things. I finally grew enough radish and lettuce for a salad!


On the baking front...

I produced the most gorgeous loaf I have made for quite some time. This was flavoured with the aquafaba from soaking black beans, and ground / roasted black sesame .

This adorable rose-shaped challah was made with my friend's 9 year old daughter, who greedily stuffed each of the strands with chocolate chips that oozed everywhere when the challah was cut. I don't think I'd ever realised how much children love getting involved in baking!

I made these sourdough tangzhong cat buns (Kim Joy's recipe) as a special gift for my friend. Though this did take quite a lot of time and effort, I enjoyed every step of the way! I would totally make these again. According to my friend, they stayed soft and fluffy for days afterwards.


Onto the Food and Music series...

The other violinist in the quartet is quite a talented cook and she rustled up this delicious goat tagine. My favourites in the tagine are the blanched almonds and the apricots which become lusciously soft and infused with tagine spices.

We had a feast of the tagine, falafels (so bloody hard to grind!!) and pide. This was served with Schubert's Rosamunde string quartet and a special pianist also joined us to play Elena Katz Chernin's The Offering. It is really worth taking a listen to this wonderful modern Australian work with contrasting movements full of life and joy.

The violist made this dinner of beef stew with Yorkshire puddings. There's something intensely satisfying about poking a hole in the puddings and ladling warm rich stew all over them. We also enjoyed shelling the peas together - a fun group activity. We ate this wonderful meal with Beethoven's Op 18. No. 3 (particularly adore the slow movement), a little bit of the 2nd Razumovsky quartet and Faure's piano quartet after dinner.

I also got a bit obsessed with the idea of making a lattice crust for apple pie, so I ended up doing it two nights in a row. This one was the more pretty one. My friend L was visiting from the Gold Coast and we played some violin-piano duets together after this pie - including Beethoven's 5th violin sonata Spring (must be an all time favourite) and some piano 6 hand music with her mum (Rachmaninov's Romances for 6 hands).

Finally, Barney my sourdough turned 3 and we celebrated his birthday with the Merewether ensemble with Beethoven's wind quintet Op. 16! Barney was born on my kitchen benchtop in Darwin, and it's incredible just how far he has come in 3 years. He has produced countless loaves, taught me the virtues of patience and acceptance, and brought so much joy to my life. I stopped counting how many children he has now, but it must be over 50 - he lives in every state & territory of Australia and in 3 other countries (China, Canada and US). Happy Birthday Barney!


I'm sending this to Sherry who hosts the monthly In My Kitchen series - thanks for hosting Sherry!

Giant Cinnamon Scroll Cake

Covid-19 brought a lot of staying at home, which brought a lot of idleness and mental space like I had not experienced for years. With all this idleness, I offered to make the cellist in my string quartet any cake she wanted for her birthday. How bad could it be? I was up for a challenge! Anyway, she knows that I'm not really a cake baker, definitely more of a bread baker. So she asked for cinnamon scrolls, not too sweet because the other violinist does not like sweets.

So I thought, why not make the cinnamon scrolls into a giant one? A few days later I was at a post-Covid party with a friend I had not seen for years and he suggested making it into a rose....

1. Make the cinnamon scroll dough
I based this on the recipe from The Clever Carrot - an excellent sourdough resource

100g Sourdough starter, ripe and recently fed
160g Milk
50g Butter
1 Egg
20g Sugar
300g Flour

Add the butter to the milk and heat in microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly
Combine all the ingredients except for flour and whisk till it is a smooth slurry
Add the flour and bring together to make a rough dough
Rest for 30 minutes, then knead the dough to bring into a ball 
Rest for 30 minutes, then knead the dough on a floured surface till it is soft and smooth (approx 5 minutes) 
(the waiting time allows the gluten to relax, which makes it easier to knead)
Proof until it is double in volume - I did mine for 4 hours at room temp then stored in fridge until I was ready to use


2. Prepare the dough for layering the cake
Flour the work surface generously and coat the rolling pin
Scoop the dough out of the bowl and make it a round shape
Roll the dough into a rectangle shape
Melt 50g butter in the microwave and brush over the dough
Scatter with a combination of brown sugar and cinnamon - adjust ratios according to taste - I used 1/2 c of sugar with a generous sprinkle of cinnamon
Using a pizza cutter, cut the dough into roughly even 3cm wide strips


3. The apples!
I used 3 red apples, cored then mandolined on the thinnest setting
Cut any full circles of apple into moon shapes 
Mix with 1 tbsp each of melted butter and brown sugar, a generous squeeze of lemon juice
Microwaved on high for 2 minutes and check (I needed an extra minute) - the apples should be translucent and pliable


4. Final construction 
Construct an apple rose by rolling up 6 overlapped apple slices up tightly (Watch Youtube video for visuals)
Take half of a dough strip and surround the apple rose snugly, with the cinnamon side facing out
Add apple slices to the outside of the dough roll, it should stick easily to the cinnamon surface
Add another layer of dough and add apple to the outside of the dough
Repeat until the whole pan is filled, ending with dough

 

(Cheese crackers and stuffed peppers not part of the prep!)

5. Baking
I rested the final cake for 1hr (because this is all the time we had!) - the dough was slightly puffed by the end of this, could have gone a bit longer

Into preheated oven at 200deg fan forced for 30min
Dust with icing sugar and serve - soft and scrumptious 

Family recipes: red braised pork

When I was a child, my favourite dish was this red braised pork 红烧肉. I loved it so much my nickname was "Carnivore" 食肉动物. I can understand my dad's confusion many years later when I spent years being vegetarian - how could I deviate so far from my favourite food?

Though I've lived on my own now for almost 20 years and cook most of my meals, I've never triedaking this dish - maybe secretly I only ever want my dad to make it for me.

But how do we capture this dish, a little token of love? here it is, a little oral history and family history, my dad's own way of cooking this dish.

Brown an onion and 1-2 chillies depending on preferred spiciness
Add cubes of pork leg roast to pan and toss to brown
Add ~3tbsp each of dark soy sauce and shaoxing rice wine, along with some sugar. Star anise or Sichuan peppercorns can also be added.
Wait till the pork is nicely coloured, then top up with water till the pork is coloured.
Bring to boil then simmer on lowest heat for 1hr
Add vegetables (potato, radish, lotus root), hard tofu or soft boiled eggs towards end of cooking
Once done open the lid and reduce sauce on high heat till it sticks to the dish

In my kitchen: June 2020

How quickly May went past! I was supposed to be in Italy in May for a music catch-up with two of my dearest friends, but instead I had two weeks of lovely staycation at home. 

Words cannot describe the languor and deep content that comes from prolonged rest, a vague sense of idleness interspersed with dancing around the living room to upbeat music (not the doof doof kind.. like the Scherzo from Faure’s piano quartet). 

I also fell in love with repetitive salad lunches, here with roasted broccoli, artichokes and a Greek-ish base. Lots of people say having the same lunch over and over helps to reduce decision, fatigue, now I believe them!

On the garden front….

My bok choy is growing really well. I sowed these seeds in February when I moved into my new place, and now they are giving me a healthy handful of bok choy everyday.

I’ve been eating them raw, stir fried or in noodle soups (here in a wonton noodle soup)

The peas I sowed during Covid are growing pleasingly well, and I am so encouraged by their tendrils reaching up to the sky, a little bit further each day.

And the Covid radishes are just starting to poke out of the ground now

On the sourdough front….

I had plenty of time to dream about baking projects, so I made this giant cinnamon scroll cake for the cellist’s birthday, layering it with apples for a gorgeous rose effect. 

These were perhaps the best ever thing I have ever baked – each layer soft and scrumptious, with a tangy slice of delicate apple to spice up each ringlet. 

I had a sourdough pizza party one night and these potato and rosemary pizzas had incredible flavour, drizzled with garlic oil. 

The tomato base was made from pureed tomato and fresh oregano, topped with slices of roast eggplant. 

Onto the Food and Music series… 

Our string quartet has resumed our regular meetings with a blast from the past of all our culinary and musical favourites.. 

Veg korma, beef massamun and sourdough naans... 

Served with Beethoven's 18/4 and Death and the Maiden

Roast lamb shoulder, roast cauliflower and greens, flatbread...

Served with Beethoven's 18/4 (yes really our favourite), Happy Birthday variations and the second Borodin string quartet. 

My Newcastle ensemble has resumed too, though various members are still missing. We tackled the Mozart wind quintet then devoured this sourdough babka stuffed with blueberry and almonds.

I'm sending this to Sherry of Sherry's pickings, thanks for hosting the monthly IMK event!

Covid dreams: a tree in Bosnia; lost in Shanghai

A tree in Bosnia
 
In this dream I am in Bosnia. In real life I've never thougt of going there, and actually know very little of the country except that there was a war there when I was in high school in the 90s.

My high school friend Susie and I are in a small town in Bosnia, high up in the mountains. There's something about mountain towns - the sunshine seems to be extra bright and the air is fresh with a whiff of the soil. The streets are narrow and cobblestoned, like in many small European towns. The vendors at the market had just a few goods displayed carefully on wooden carts. We could have been anywhere, but I knew we were in Bosnia.

We were looking for the right kind of sweet pastries. There was a row of vendors selling different types - some looked like French style laminated pastries and others were more like the condensed Middle Eastern style baklava. We were looking for the perfect pastry. We stopped to talk to one of the pastry sellers but we could not understand each other due to the language barrier. We decided to buy some of his pastries, and I reached into my bag to get some money.

I realise with a start that I'm not carrying a handbag or backpack like I normally would be in these sorts of travel situations. Instead I am carrying a thin and flimsy black garbage bag, like those large bin liners. Inside were bundles and bundles of cash, some of it neatly packaged and other bills just scattered about. There was no way for me to tell how much there was or even what currency it was - I didn't want to draw attention to myself in the busy marketplace.

I hastily gave the pastry man a few notes and we moved onto the next stand where the man sold shoes. These were not normal shoes and the display was haphazard, in complete contrast to the food displays. On closer inspection they were all shoes that were worn to within an inch of its life - some of the soles were peeling and many had holes. Susie said we should buy some shoes and try to fix them. The shoe seller asked us in broken English where we were from, and we tried to have a conversation with much difficulty.

While Susie was rifling through the shoes, he took out an old map, like those hand drawn ones in Lord of the Rings, and showed us a few things. We were in the north of Bosnia, just north of the capital (which was not Sarajevo in the dream). He pointed to a few places of interest, and pictures flashed up of those places. When he pointed to a road southwest of the capital that led to the neighbouring country, I realised that this road went from Bosnia to Macedonia. Along the way, he pointed out a place of interest and the picture that flashed up was that of a giant tree.

In the picture, the tree was so huge its dimensions could not be determined. One could not see the complete width of the roots and the top of the tree was nowhere near the top of the picture. The belly of the tree seemed to have been bust open and inside it was a cave. The light streamed into the cave, seemingly swallowed up in its depths. I knew immediately that I had to go there. I looked back at the map and it said the town nearby was "Gun Locks".

I was suddenly aware of the large bag of money... what am I supposed to do with this huge amount of money, in rural Bosnia of all places? How do I get to the tree? Then I woke up.


Lost in Shanghai

In this dream, I was going to Shanghai Bo Ai Hospital (where I did my medical school elective in 2005). In real life I used to take the bus from my aunt's place to subway line 1 and 7 stops later I would be at the nearest stop, and then it was a 10 minute walk. All up the commute would take me about an hour.

In the dream, I was staying with a different family. I'm not sure exactly who they were, maybe some family friends. It was an older couple with a daughter around 30, very thin with long straight hair and glasses. She looked very introverted and barely spoke. The mother told me that I should take her with me so she could also see the way to the hospital. We started walking to the subway, but once we left the apartment building I realised I had no idea where we were.

I asked the girl if she knew where the subway station was and she said she had no idea. I asked her if she knew which line subway it was and she said she had no idea as well. I asked her her home address and she said she didn't know! I looked at my phone but of course Google maps doesn't work in China. We were on a busy street with plenty of cars and bikes passing, but strangely no pedestrians. I thought we could walk along the street and eventually we would see something that would give a suggestion to where we were.

We kept walking till we came to a collection of shops around a square. It looked quite modern with several luxury item shops and coffee shops. I decided to look for someone to ask for directions, and that was when I realised my right sandal was broken. What was I thinking, wearing sandals to the hospital? I asked myself in the dream. Never mind, I'll pick something up somewhere.

Then I realised that all the shops were sealed up because of Covid and there was no way to enter any of them, even though I could see people inside. After walking around for a while, I spotted a Citibank branch with a security guard outside. I half walked, half ran towards him with my broken sandal and clueless girl in tow. The security guard was very kindly and gave us detailed instructions on how to get to the subway station. I thought both the presence of Citibank and the friendliness of the guard meant we could not be in Shanghai anymore?

We walked around the corner and made another few turns as the security guard had suggested, finally arriving at "TK Square". I looked for the characteristic signs of Shanghai metro but there were only shops (also sealed up) all around. Finally we found an escalator going underground, and a bunch of symbols on the sign that I didn't understand. I thought once we get underground it must be easier to find the subway, so I dragged the girl onto the escalator, though she looked reluctant.

At the bottom of the very long escalator was a wet market. Full of vegetables and fruit, but lacking that vibrancy of a normal market. It was fairly dim underground, the air terribly stale as if things had been rotting there for some time. There were no people around, and all the little piles of produce looked sad and forgotten. I dragged the girl through the aisles of vegetables until we saw a group of 6 or 7 people gathered around what looked like the fish stand.

"Go away!" A man shouted at us when we were still about 20m away
"Excuse me, we are trying to find the subway station." I shouted back.
"Can't you see we are filming the next episode of Masterchef here?" He shouted back angrily.

We got closer and all the contestants were holding various parts of fish that I had never seen before. It must have been fantastical fish from another universe. What were they?

Everyone ignored us while we stood watching them clean and slice the fish parts. The girl tugged at my sleeve and asked if we could go. I was transfixed by the cooking show and I just needed to know what the mystery ingredients were.

"All right, everyone ready?" The head producer man called out.

The cameras started rolling. "Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the next challenge." He said brightly, totally in a different character to the terribly angry man he had been towards us.

"Today's mystery ingredient is..." A drum roll sounded and contestants held up whatever part they were slicing.

".... Fish penis!" He announced triumphantly.

"But fish are not reproductive mammals, they don't have penises!" I blurted out before I realised I would also be on TV. Or do they? I thought, then I woke up.

Covid diary: more dreams, and realisations

Let's start with the epiphany:

I am not doing anything different during the Covid-19 crisis. In fact, I am doing all the exact same things that I used to do -

go to work
play music
bake bread
read
write
go for walks
enjoy sunshine / nature
catch up with friends

Of course some of those things are now different, like catching up with friends online instead of in real life. But the essence of my life is exactly the same. Except it feels different, because I have a newfound appreciation for my life. I feel grateful to have all these tiny simple things that make up the mosaic of my life, I am far more fortunate than I had ever realised.

The last few weeks have actually been really good - I am physically and mentally well, eating good food and sleeping soundly.

I also started doing "violin school" which is my way of actually getting into the technical side of playing the violin. Even though I've been playing for a decade now, adult amateurs like me with no solid foundation struggle with the technical stuff. I set myself a task to put a 25min timer on and play scales slowly once aday. I am asking myself if I have played the best note I can possibly produce today. I am also doing the Beethoven project to record the Beethoven violin sonatas with my friend in Toronto Emily - we are doing it one movement at a time, an extremely rewarding project. Listening to myself on recording makes me cringe - all the notes that are missed and imperfect, poorly executed or squeaky - but listening to myself has made me arrive at loving my own imperfection. This is the best I can produce at this point in time, not 10 years into the future when I will undoubtedly be better at playing the violin. I accept who I am right now.

-----
Onto the dreams...

Dream no. 3 with S: 

In this dream I am in the ICU tearoom. The time is early afternoon as the sun is streaming through the glass windows on the far side and casting deep shadows onto the ground. I am standing there with a group of colleagues, and S comes in through the door. He stands near the entrance, away from us, looking rather uncomfortable.

He is wearing a long sleeved white shirt with a formal collar. It is so pressed and starched that it looks unreal - the collars are so stiff that they hardly move. Over this shirt he is wearing a patient gown, quite a comical look. Everyone has stopped talking and all eyes are on him. He asks permission to leave the department since he has to go to Strasbourg. 

Strasbourg? I wonder in the dream.

He starts to explain why he has to go to Strasbourg to see the castle there, and some other things that I cannot remember. As he speaks, he catches my eye and I realise that no one else knows that we know each other. People ask him random questions that he deflects easily with "I don't know" or something similar. Then someone asks, "will you be in Paris as well?"

My ears prick up at the question, because S actually lives in Paris - so he must be going home from Australia?

He seems somewhat agitated by the question, finally replying "Well, there may be no time to go to Paris. Let's just see how things end in Strasbourg."

That sends a chill down my spine and I wake up.


The one with lobster

In this short but hilarious dream, I am in the supermarket with one of my older  ICU colleagues. (I think in real life he has been behind to the scenes due to his age, and hence maybe he came into my dream). I am looking for pork mince to go into dumplings, and he says that all the mince is out, no longer available.

"But you can try this 50:50! I heard it's really good." he says to me enthusiastically.

"What does the 50 mean?" I ask him.

He shrugs and moves further down the aisle. My mind throws up images of random animals - rabbits, horses, rats... what kind of mince is 50:50?

Then I realise everything is packaged in opaque plastic, and it's very hard to see what is inside. I pick up an item and look at the label, it is actually a lobster and costs $247. I can't even comprehend this for a moment, but it is alive and the pincer grabs my hand sharply. I wake up stunned.


The one with the F-G note sequence

In this dream I am making a pot of masala chai. (In real life, I used to drink chai a lot but it has really faded in my life - no longer an interest!) I have 3 teabags in the pot, the way that M makes it. But I have forgotten all the other ingredients. I'm racking my brains to think what else goes into masala chai, but I cannot remember anything other than pepper. M used to grind a couple of grinds of black pepper just before the finish to give it that extra bite. I grind the pepper but my hands don't belong to me - they keep compulsively grinding the pepper, over and over. I cannot stop myself. The tea is totally ruined with the pepper flavour and no other spices (since I cannot recall them). I don't even add milk or sugar, but I pour myself a cup and take it to the table.

The liquid in the cup is so dark it is almost black. The steam from the tea makes my eyes water, so strong it is with pepper flavour. I sit down at the table because I am supposed to be writing my column. I am actually some sort of agony aunt for the newspaper. I open the next envelope, and inside is a handwritten letter.

The top of the letter I cannot recall anymore, but the question is

In this sequence of quavers FGFGFGFG, should it be phrased as 
F-GF-GF-GF
or 
FG-FG-FG

The answer is clear to me - it must be F-GF-GF, but I ponder it a little longer to see if other thoughts come to mind. None do and I wake up puzzled.