Images from Dhamma Bhumi

A path at Dhamma Bhumi

The first 5 days, the sky was an impeccable blue with not a trace of cloud. The heat was almost bothersome in the afternoon, though mornings and evenings remained crisp. Sunsets seemed to go on forever - even when returning to our rooms at 9pm, a trace of orange remained on the horizon, almost like the sunsets one sees on an aeroplane.

On the 6th day, clouds started moving in over the Megalong valley and by evening, the sky was filled with volcanic like clouds. At sunset, the sun was partially hidden by the clouds, showing just 3 distinct streaks of light through the grey.

On the 7th day, it began to rain. The whole centre was covered with sheets of mist drifting languidly. The rain was so soft that the droplets felt almost imperceptible. The smell of rain in the bush is pure and unadulterated, as if we were truly living in the wild.

After that, we woke everyday to heavy fog. One could only see as far as the first row of trees at breakfast time, and visibility stretched slowly until one could just make out the edge of the plateau by lunchtime. The valley seemed sleepy with rain then, as if pausing while the bush had a good drink. It continued to rain lightly for the rest of my time there, everything got soggy but it didn't seem to matter.

 

Morning fog across the valley, from outside A block

The walking tracks have been updated since I was last there - the surface stability has improved and there's now a solid little loop around which we walked endlessly during breaks. The main pond has been filled in and turned into a 40,000L capacity rainwater tank which is awesome, since the centre is now mostly self reliant for water and only occasionally goes onto Sydney Water. The side pond under the verandah is now the only pond, but this has been lovingly tended and was full of beautiful water lilies. Who knew that liles go to sleep at night as well, and open up during the day?

The pond.

A lot of work has gone into the landscaping around the centre. While at the centre, gardeners were planting flowers around the female entrance to the main hall and the pagoda. One day we came out of the hall to the sight of dozens of flower pots, which mysteriously got planted bit by bit while we were meditating.

Near the female entrance to the pagoda.

I particularly love these "rock roses" which seem so sturdy and all-weather.

Silence makes one appreciate so many things that one would normally. It makes one realise how much idle chatter there is in life, and how we miss so much because our minds are distracted. The beauty of birds gliding across the sky, of softly falling leaves, of the scent of fresh rain.. it's lovely that I had another opportunity to ponder all this.

Vipassana: food and dreams (part 2)

Day 5
Shepherd pie, greens with mushrooms, coleslaw. Quinoa biscuit (who knew quinoa could be used in biscuits!)

In this dream, I am at UNSW but it has turned into a giant Woolworths. I am strolling the aisles when there is an announcement being made that there is a closing special. I look up and there are fishnets of goodies suspended from the ceiling, and they are about to be released upon us.

The first special is - Brindabella cheese for $3.69! Random bits of stuff fall from the ceiling and I pick them up to examine them - but they are roast tofu, and tuna with beans. Then my dad comes towards me with a ginormous slab of violet crumble and he has taken a single bite out of the corner.

Too sweet! He says. Can I swap you for a savoury one?
You have diabetes! You can't eat that. I scream silently and wake up

Day 6
Leftover day, with vegetables + peanut sauce and the best dessert - sticky date pudding with proper caramel sauce, and home made kiwi mint gelato

In this dream I am standing in the dark facing a huge bridge, sort of like the Anzac bridge but not quite. I understand inherently that I need to visit two people - both Shirley and Elaine have moved into two buildings one on each side of the bridge. They look like super fancy mega apartment buildings, and I remember that Elaine was telling me about the apartment she lives in. She had said that they could see the Sharp building from their apartment, which is completely made of gold bricks and you could see every single one glimmering.

I start to walk across the bridge, thinking I'll visit whoever's on the other end of the bridge first and visit the one on this end when I come back. At the other end I briefly enter a pedestrian tunnel before coming out on the surface of the bridge again. There I see trails of fresh blood on the ground and I wonder what is happening. Then I see a flight of stairs and an old lady slowly climbing down the stairs. Blood is dripping down her leg.

Are you ok? I go up to her and ask.
She looks at me silently and I see her leg, grossly swollen and distorted. It looks like it's about to explode, and suddenly pus bursts forth from the surface.

The old lady's two sons come rushing to her and I say to them she has necrotising fasciitis and has to go to the hospital straight away! They nod solemnly and start helping her up the stairs.

Then Shelley comes out of nowhere and says, where are you! everyone has been waiting for you to come and make up the deficit in the bookstore. We need you to pay an extra $5 so that we can keep the bookstore open for another day. I am confused and wake up.

Day 7
Roast vegetable tofu stew. Orange yoghurt poppy seed cake. 
This dream is just a glimpse. I am standing in my Kingsford place and there are water tracks everywhere. Someone has managed to put foot tracks all over the walls and I wonder who managed to climb up to walk upside down on the ceiling. I can't close the door either and the wind is howling. Suddenly my dad appears in the doorway pushing a bicycle, and my grandma also appears but she is much younger with curled hair.


Day 8
Cheesy pasta bake. Sprout salad. Sago pudding with cardamom.
This was the most vivid fantastical dream I had the whole course.  

In this dream Grace and I are standing on Anzac Parade near the intersection of Middle St. It is bustling as usual and there seem to be a lot of cars around. She says that she has to go soon, but will go with me to pick up my takeaway dinner. We go into this restaurant I don't recognise and it is dark inside. All we can see is the single cash register, though people seemed to be seated and eating in the darkness.

That will be $23.20 please. The girl at the cash register says. I start giving her money but realise that all the denominations are Chinese money.

That's ok, you can pay with Chinese money. She says and takes the notes from my hand. Then she looks furtively around her, leans across the register and whispers. Please, can you help me? I am trapped here, they are keeping me as a slave.

Suddenly two men come out from the darkness and tell us to go, basically pushing us outside. Once outside I ask Grace what she should do, and she says she wants to go home. So we wait on the side of the road for a taxi, but the road seems to be now completely clogged with cars showing bright blue lights. There are no taxis and after what seems like a long time, she gives up and says that maybe we should just go have dinner.

We decide to go back to the restaurant where we were and this time I see the sign: Congolese cuisine. This is so exciting! She says, I've never tried Congolese food before!

We sit down in the darkness, and I start thinking about how we can help the girl. I lament not having discussed some sort of plan before we came into the restaurant, but now it's too late. As my eyes adjust to the darkness I see there are several tables of men eating silently around us.

Towards the back of the restaurant there are two chefs working in the open kitchen. Next to one of them is a stake, and two black calves are tied to the stake. They have a desperate look in their eyes like please don't eat me! I am about to be eaten!

I tell Grace that maybe we should go, because the restaurants kills such poor little baby animals. She tells me to relax, but then I notice that all around us, there are racks and racks of animal carcasses. The stench of old, foul blood hits me at once and then I realise, the blood is dripping onto us. Then I wake up.


Day 9
Fried rice noodles with tofu and vegetables. Watermelon salad with mint. 
I am driving along Woodville Rd with Cindy and Shelley in the car. They seem to have regressed in age and we are talking like we are teenagers, something like.
What do you want to eat?
What do YOU want to eat?
I want to eat whatever you want to eat.

As I drive along I realise we still have to pick someone else up, but I have no idea who and I have no idea where we are going. I try to get Cindy & Shelley to organise their thought towards where we are actually going to eat, but they start arguing about which flavour of lipsmackers is best and I can't interrupt them.

Then there is a sign. This is the last turnoff. And a very long right turn lane. I don't go into the lane but ask them again and again where we are going - then I realise the road is going to end and that is the end.

Day 10.
Lasagne. Peanut butter date balls.
Amazingly, I have no dreams on the last night.
 

Vipassana: food and dreams (part 1)

Day 0
Vegetable soup

Two brief dreams.   
In the first, Kai is holding a paper cutout (of the Chinese kind) of a complex diagram which I don't recognise. He's trying to explain all the components of the diagram but it seems to get more and more complicated. Then he starts unfolding the paper (which is black) and each segment becomes another paper cutout which is red in colour. When he finishes unfolding the whole thing is huge, about the size of a tablecloth. I realise with a start that it is the guide to how the body works.

In the second, I dream that my dad has a pleural effusion and he is seeing a terrible GP who is telling him that he must drink more water to get rid of the effusion. Possibilities run through my head - cancer? TB? I feel angry towards the GP like I want to punch him. The violence, and the potential devastation of the underlying diagnosis, wake me up.


Day 1
Vegetable lentil stew, sesame coated curry balls.

Again 2 dreams.

I'm standing on broadway near UTS and the sky is overcast (in reality that day it was sunny and blue during the day). The clouds are grey and looming, and I feel that it is going to rain. I'm not carrying a bag of any kind and I feel in my pockets for some change so I can catch the bus. I find only a single $10 note and remember anyway that you can't buy a ticket on the bus anymore. I decide to start walking home.

As I walk home it starts to sprinkle, but it's not particularly unpleasant so I keep walking. As I get to the corner of Cleveland St, a girl approaches me and asks me some questions which I can't remember. I go with her to her place, where there is an old man sitting in the dark, looking miserable. I start talking to him while the girl is making some hot drinks for us. He is depressed and desolate, and I'm trying to cheer him up by talking about when he was young. After a while he looks up and says, you think I want to be here? I'm not even this girl's father! But I must stay here and look after her. I am shocked and wake up

In the second dream, I am standing in the lobby of a tall apartment building which I don't recognise. The mailman comes out of the lift and asks me if I want to go get dinner. I say that I want to go by myself, so I set off alone and it is very dark outside. After walking for some time without any direction, I come to a street full of lights and I recognise that it is the main street in Shanghai, Nanjing Rd. I walk along this road looking for a restaurant but I can't find any - which frustrates me no end as I know there are heaps of places to eat along this road. Eventually I decide to go back to the mailman's place, but I can't find my way back to the apartment. I linger near the intersection where I think the road is, and eventually I find a small doorway with a glimmer of light amongst the darkness. Through the doorway I enter a little room, manned by two people, an old man and an old woman. They ask me how much I want to pay and I ask them why I have to pay. You have to pay to leave this place, don't you understand? So I take out my wallet and try to give them some money, but every note I take out is blue (there are no blue Chinese notes) and I can't pay them with any of them! So I wake up.


Day 2
Vegetable curry, plain dal and rice. Apple crumble.
I dream that I am inducing anaesthesia for a patient, who appears to be a fit young man. After the drugs, I intubate him and everything seems to be going well, yet the oxygen saturation alarm keeps going down and down. I turn around and see that the sats are 70%. I turn the flows up and bag him hard, but the Sats keep going down and they are now 50%. He starts going blue - I take out the tube, mask ventilate him hard, but the Sats keep dropping and they are now 30%. Then I realise that the oxygen connection has been disconnected at the wall, but it's too late and the patient dies.


Day 3
Kidney bean curry, roasted eggplant. Date slice.
I'm showing a couple around this apartment which I have apparently chosen for them. The apartment is bound on all sides by massive glass windows and it is night time outside. I recognise the skyline as being that of Auckland, and I wonder why I have chosen this place.

Going into each room, I feel so pleased with the setting of the place. Everything - the walls, the carpet, the decor - seems perfect, and I realise that this is my ideal place. I start looking around to try to remember what it is about the place that I like. And then I overhear the couple arguing about whether they should take the place or not, because it's too expensive at $450/week. At that moment I'm in the bedroom and there is a rustic bookshelf  over the top of the bed - what a great idea! I think, you can read whatever you want before bed. And the bookshelves are stacked full of cookbooks that I want to read too.

The couple come into the bedroom and say to me that they need some time to consider. In the mean time they said they wanted to meet up with their other friends for dessert at Mr Wong's, a new dessert bar that has opened up in the city. I go with them, and it is a dark smoky trendy bar serving all sorts of drinks. When our dessert is served, I realise with a start that it is stir fried celery with pieces of lung.


Day 4 
Tofu curry, bok choy, beetroot & carrot salad. 

On this day, I have two extremely vivid dreams.

I am walking along the corridor in some public building (looks like a government building) and suddenly someone ahead of me collapses. I run to him and it is a middle aged man. I start doing CPR on him and call for someone to get an ambulance. A woman walks past and introduces herself as a nurse. She starts doing CPR while I go to the head end and get ready to do ventilations. The next moment I realise that the compressions have stopped and the woman is answering her phone, honey sorry I can't talk right now, I'm really busy... and I want to shout at her, don't stop the compressions!

A man with an ipad walks past and says he can tell what the underlying rhythm is using a new app. The man appears to be in pulseless VT, but there's no way we can shock him! I tell the nurse to keep doing CPR while I start thinking about where an automated defibrillator might be kept. Then I hear gurgling noises and I realise that the middle aged man has turned into a really old lady, who is not dead at all, but she's too weak to protest the CPR.

In the other dream, I am a homeless person and I live in a derelict rubble-filled building along with some other homeless friends. One of them tells me that the building we are in is due to be taken down soon, so we have to move somewhere. Across the road there are two buildings under construction, and we decide to move there. Another man pipes up and says that he has met a woman who wants to look after him on the 20th floor of the building on the right. We look carefully at the buildings and agree that we will each make our way there in teams of two and meet up on the 20th floor with our friend and his girlfriend. As we run across the road, I am distinctly aware of how dirty my clothes are.

My partner and I approach the building on the right, but realise you need an access card to enter. I have one but my partner doesn't, so we decide to enter the building on the left. I look at my access card and I am a blonde woman (I've forgotten the name!) with the job title TV presenter. How ridiculous, I think in the dream. We get in the lift and press 20. As it goes up we discuss how we are going to jump from this building to the next building - then the door opens and it is like the apocalypse outside.

The wind is howling, the sun is bright red and the dust is gritty in our eyes. We shield our faces from the dust storm and try to see where we are going. This is not going to work! I shout to my partner but I can't even see one foot in front of me so I have no idea where he is. I try to grope along the wall to feel where the lift is, but I can't. Eventually I stumble into a wall and with much relief, feel the cool steel of the lift door under my fingers. My partner is standing right next to me at that moment and we wait for the lift to come again. When the door opens we rush in, and then we realise that it's too late to get out and the lift is completely broken. It starts sinking with a rush and I think this is it, I'm going to die. Then it slams to a stop and the floor starts to crumble. We scramble madly onto a corner and hold onto the metal ropes holding the remnants of the lift together. It falls further and I scream. Sparks start to fizzle everywhere now, and I don't know where to put my hands or feet. Then I wake up. 

Momofuku seiobo

I don't even remember where or when I heard about the infamous pork bun, but since then Momofuku has been on the bucket list, and we finally had a chance to go to this amazing place.

Course 1: deeply smoky potato puree within a wafer thin tuile, served with a dollop of apple and topped with grated freeze-dried apple.
How could anyone make something so thin, shattering with a neat crunch?
Who would have thought potato and apple would be a good combination?

Course 2: the infamous pork belly bun
The bun is soft like the heart of a marshmallow, and the pork belly so luscious. The optional sriracha lifted this bun to another realm.

Course 3: freshly cooked mud crab with toasted amaranth
The texture of this dish was incredible. The crab was so fresh it felt like it was still wriggling in the bowl (we did discuss whether crabmeat is like muscles - must be how the crabs get around), and the toasted amaranth felt like sparkly popcorn in the mouth. Perfect. I started saying every dish was my favourite at this point.

Course 4: confit potatoes with parson's nose and ocean trout roe.
Chicken arse just doesn't sound as great as parson's nose - it actually tasted like a blob of soft shell crab or other deep fried item fried beyond recognition of its source, for which I guess one should be thankful. Here the confit potatoes have an attractive sticky glaze, pairing well with the salty trout roe and the chicken arse.  I particularly loved how two people would work silently but frantically at plating this dish.

Course 5:  baby octopus, baby turnips and smoked eel jelly on a bed of almond milk.
How I could have eaten a whole bowl of this - the octopus was slippery and impossibly tender, well matched with the crunch of whole microscopic turnips and the strong scent of smoked eel jelly. The bitterness in the turnip leaf complemented the almond milk just perfectly.

Course 6: roasted spice cauliflower, mushroom, and egg yolk perfection 

 Look at that perfectly glistening yolk! I wonder how they made it such that it sat so prettily on the dish, yet the centre was lusciously soft once you poked it apart. The roasted cauliflower in this dish was one of the most amazing elements I ate at Momofuku - I would love to recreate it at home. 

Course 7: Grilled mulloway with baby carrot and seaweed puree (missing picture.. sad)
We remarked upon how the top of the mulloway was grilled to just the right crunch, yet the flesh was soft and so yielding to the slightest touch. The kombu puree could have been overpowering, but with the sweetness of the carrots and the fish, the chemistry was just perfect.

 Course 8: Cowra lamb with baby cucumber, and an anchovy tarragon puree
The execution of this dish was incredible - the lamb was cooked to a glistening even pink, with a thin layer of lamb crackling (who knew?) and a nice tempting layer of fat. No one else seemed to like the cucumbers as much as I did - who knew char grilled cucumbers could be so delicious?

Course 9: goats curd with mint sauce and blackcurrant puree
No way to get around this, the curd was so strong it was like licking a goat. Both the red & green elements brought strong visual elements to the dish, but also offered opposite contrasting flavours. Mixed up together, it gave a new flavour altogether.  

 Course 10: sorrel & pistachio icecream with muntries
This dish was intensely green, and had a rather peculiar grassy flavour which I guess is due to the sorrel. The muntries were small bursts of juicy tartness which offset the grass icecream well. 

Course bonus: canele!
I love canele, and this version was so well caramelised with a just set middle - what a perfect end to the degustation. They were even kind enough to offer one to a friend who had come to meet us (because we had taken over 2hrs for the degustation) which I thought was a generous gesture.

Overall it was an interesting foray into a different world that I don't belong to. The flavours were simple and intense, yet the combinations formed amazingly rich flavour and textural experiences. Obviously a phenomenal amount of effort and thought had gone into the preparation, and it was a pleasure to watch the kitchen team work solo and in teams - like watching a great show.

I was shocked to find out when I got home that many people did not have such an amazing experience at Momofuku - in fact, on urbanspoon it gets a measly 70% which must be a record for a 3hatted restaurant. I would certainly love to return for another gastronomic feat!

Dream: an attempted murder

(The first dream of 2014)

I am standing on the side of a crowded road. The traffic is busy and lots of people are milling around the shops and restaurants lining the road. The shopfronts are adorned with multi coloured lights which twinkle in the darkness.

I realise that I'm standing in front of an old, battered, inconspicuous van. I think to myself that perhaps I should get inside the van, and just as I put my hand on the door a man opens it for me and signals for me to get in. Once inside, I see that there are no seats except for the driver's seat, and I sit on the floor with my back to the door. The man doesn't get in and walks away somewhere, and I am left alone in the van.

Though it's dark, I can see lots of equipment stacked in the corner, and there's a computer screen showing co-ordinates I don't understand. From where I sit, the street light streams in through the window, such that just my arms and hands are illuminated.

The scene cuts to one of near maximal darkness. I am aware of the cold, metallic feeling of a gun in my hands. I hold it poised to the darkness, though momentarily I wonder if it's a real gun. I become aware of someone standing next to me, and I understand that they are my partner. We are edging forward in what feels like a corridor, and we can see the gradation of darkness up ahead signifying a room of some sort.

A shot is fired, the sound so compact and brief that it feels unreal, as if it didn't really happen. Neither my partner nor I move, and I secretly wonder why the shot didn't light up the room so we could see, even for a short moment, where we were going.

After a pregnant pause, heavy gunfire is exchanged, and a strong sense of urgency wells up in my being. Heart pounding madly in my ears, the adrenaline rushes to my hands and I shoot into the darkness. All sound ceases and there is a stillness so heavy that it feels damp. I lower the gun and feel in my pockets, finding a box of matches. Lighting them seems like the most difficult task ever, each minor action taking the most concentrated effort (open the box.. now take out one match.. find where the box is in my other hand.. orient to the side.. strike.. completely miss the box.. strike again...)

Eventually the match is lit, and in its brief orange glow, I see that there are many people standing around the room. I then realise that despite all the shots, there is no smell of blood.

Someone comes up to me and slaps me on the shoulder.
Good work, buddy! He says cheerfully. We are always glad when the tox guys come to help us out!

Tox guys? I think. Since when was I one of the tox guys?

A light switch is flicked, and the room is bathed in an unnaturally strong yellow light. Everyone seems relaxed, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. Looking around, there are no bodies on the ground, and I wonder how so much gunfire in such a confined space managed to not hit anyone.. or did it?

We head back along the corridor and up the steps. All up there are about 10 of us, and we head into the kitchen, which is beautifully decorated. In the middle sits a rustic slab of wood serving as the table - the many age rings show that the tree must have been hundreds of years old. Earthenware pots and pans are arranged artistically on the walls, vases of bright flowers are scattered around and bunches of dried herbs give off a deep aroma. What a beautiful kitchen, I think to myself, I would love to have something like this.

The others are gathering ingredients from around the kitchen and starting a fire to cook.

I say out loud, is this not a murder scene? we should be cordoning off the downstairs area.

The man who slapped me on the shoulder comes up to me and says, I am the leader of this expedition, and both the assassin and the murdered man have already been removed. We don't need to do anything else now, other than feed ourselves! With a guffaw he walks away, gulping down cider.

I find it difficult to relax, though the others are chattering amongst themselves happily. The room has lost its chill with the warmth of the cooking fire, and I can smell roasted meat.

I see a woman climbing up to reach one of the higher cupboards, and realise with a start, this is the murderer! we must not let her get away!

That's her, it's Jeannie who murdered the owner of this house! I call out but am drowned out by the cheerful din of my colleagues.

Then I wake up.