Day 0
Vegetable soup
Two brief dreams.
In the first, Kai is holding a paper cutout (of the Chinese kind) of a complex diagram which I don't recognise. He's trying to explain all the components of the diagram but it seems to get more and more complicated. Then he starts unfolding the paper (which is black) and each segment becomes another paper cutout which is red in colour. When he finishes unfolding the whole thing is huge, about the size of a tablecloth. I realise with a start that it is the guide to how the body works.
In the second, I dream that my dad has a pleural effusion and he is seeing a terrible GP who is telling him that he must drink more water to get rid of the effusion. Possibilities run through my head - cancer? TB? I feel angry towards the GP like I want to punch him. The violence, and the potential devastation of the underlying diagnosis, wake me up.
Day 1
Vegetable lentil stew, sesame coated curry balls.
Again 2 dreams.
I'm standing on broadway near UTS and the sky is overcast (in reality that day it was sunny and blue during the day). The clouds are grey and looming, and I feel that it is going to rain. I'm not carrying a bag of any kind and I feel in my pockets for some change so I can catch the bus. I find only a single $10 note and remember anyway that you can't buy a ticket on the bus anymore. I decide to start walking home.
As I walk home it starts to sprinkle, but it's not particularly unpleasant so I keep walking. As I get to the corner of Cleveland St, a girl approaches me and asks me some questions which I can't remember. I go with her to her place, where there is an old man sitting in the dark, looking miserable. I start talking to him while the girl is making some hot drinks for us. He is depressed and desolate, and I'm trying to cheer him up by talking about when he was young. After a while he looks up and says, you think I want to be here? I'm not even this girl's father! But I must stay here and look after her. I am shocked and wake up
In the second dream, I am standing in the lobby of a tall apartment building which I don't recognise. The mailman comes out of the lift and asks me if I want to go get dinner. I say that I want to go by myself, so I set off alone and it is very dark outside. After walking for some time without any direction, I come to a street full of lights and I recognise that it is the main street in Shanghai, Nanjing Rd. I walk along this road looking for a restaurant but I can't find any - which frustrates me no end as I know there are heaps of places to eat along this road. Eventually I decide to go back to the mailman's place, but I can't find my way back to the apartment. I linger near the intersection where I think the road is, and eventually I find a small doorway with a glimmer of light amongst the darkness. Through the doorway I enter a little room, manned by two people, an old man and an old woman. They ask me how much I want to pay and I ask them why I have to pay. You have to pay to leave this place, don't you understand? So I take out my wallet and try to give them some money, but every note I take out is blue (there are no blue Chinese notes) and I can't pay them with any of them! So I wake up.
Day 2
Vegetable curry, plain dal and rice. Apple crumble.
I dream that I am inducing anaesthesia for a patient, who appears to be a fit young man. After the drugs, I intubate him and everything seems to be going well, yet the oxygen saturation alarm keeps going down and down. I turn around and see that the sats are 70%. I turn the flows up and bag him hard, but the Sats keep going down and they are now 50%. He starts going blue - I take out the tube, mask ventilate him hard, but the Sats keep dropping and they are now 30%. Then I realise that the oxygen connection has been disconnected at the wall, but it's too late and the patient dies.
Day 3
Kidney bean curry, roasted eggplant. Date slice.
I'm showing a couple around this apartment which I have apparently chosen for them. The apartment is bound on all sides by massive glass windows and it is night time outside. I recognise the skyline as being that of Auckland, and I wonder why I have chosen this place.
Going into each room, I feel so pleased with the setting of the place. Everything - the walls, the carpet, the decor - seems perfect, and I realise that this is my ideal place. I start looking around to try to remember what it is about the place that I like. And then I overhear the couple arguing about whether they should take the place or not, because it's too expensive at $450/week. At that moment I'm in the bedroom and there is a rustic bookshelf over the top of the bed - what a great idea! I think, you can read whatever you want before bed. And the bookshelves are stacked full of cookbooks that I want to read too.
The couple come into the bedroom and say to me that they need some time to consider. In the mean time they said they wanted to meet up with their other friends for dessert at Mr Wong's, a new dessert bar that has opened up in the city. I go with them, and it is a dark smoky trendy bar serving all sorts of drinks. When our dessert is served, I realise with a start that it is stir fried celery with pieces of lung.
Day 4
Tofu curry, bok choy, beetroot & carrot salad.
On this day, I have two extremely vivid dreams.
I am walking along the corridor in some public building (looks like a government building) and suddenly someone ahead of me collapses. I run to him and it is a middle aged man. I start doing CPR on him and call for someone to get an ambulance. A woman walks past and introduces herself as a nurse. She starts doing CPR while I go to the head end and get ready to do ventilations. The next moment I realise that the compressions have stopped and the woman is answering her phone, honey sorry I can't talk right now, I'm really busy... and I want to shout at her, don't stop the compressions!
A man with an ipad walks past and says he can tell what the underlying rhythm is using a new app. The man appears to be in pulseless VT, but there's no way we can shock him! I tell the nurse to keep doing CPR while I start thinking about where an automated defibrillator might be kept. Then I hear gurgling noises and I realise that the middle aged man has turned into a really old lady, who is not dead at all, but she's too weak to protest the CPR.
In the other dream, I am a homeless person and I live in a derelict rubble-filled building along with some other homeless friends. One of them tells me that the building we are in is due to be taken down soon, so we have to move somewhere. Across the road there are two buildings under construction, and we decide to move there. Another man pipes up and says that he has met a woman who wants to look after him on the 20th floor of the building on the right. We look carefully at the buildings and agree that we will each make our way there in teams of two and meet up on the 20th floor with our friend and his girlfriend. As we run across the road, I am distinctly aware of how dirty my clothes are.
My partner and I approach the building on the right, but realise you need an access card to enter. I have one but my partner doesn't, so we decide to enter the building on the left. I look at my access card and I am a blonde woman (I've forgotten the name!) with the job title TV presenter. How ridiculous, I think in the dream. We get in the lift and press 20. As it goes up we discuss how we are going to jump from this building to the next building - then the door opens and it is like the apocalypse outside.
The wind is howling, the sun is bright red and the dust is gritty in our eyes. We shield our faces from the dust storm and try to see where we are going. This is not going to work! I shout to my partner but I can't even see one foot in front of me so I have no idea where he is. I try to grope along the wall to feel where the lift is, but I can't. Eventually I stumble into a wall and with much relief, feel the cool steel of the lift door under my fingers. My partner is standing right next to me at that moment and we wait for the lift to come again. When the door opens we rush in, and then we realise that it's too late to get out and the lift is completely broken. It starts sinking with a rush and I think this is it, I'm going to die. Then it slams to a stop and the floor starts to crumble. We scramble madly onto a corner and hold onto the metal ropes holding the remnants of the lift together. It falls further and I scream. Sparks start to fizzle everywhere now, and I don't know where to put my hands or feet. Then I wake up.
Vegetable soup
Two brief dreams.
In the first, Kai is holding a paper cutout (of the Chinese kind) of a complex diagram which I don't recognise. He's trying to explain all the components of the diagram but it seems to get more and more complicated. Then he starts unfolding the paper (which is black) and each segment becomes another paper cutout which is red in colour. When he finishes unfolding the whole thing is huge, about the size of a tablecloth. I realise with a start that it is the guide to how the body works.
In the second, I dream that my dad has a pleural effusion and he is seeing a terrible GP who is telling him that he must drink more water to get rid of the effusion. Possibilities run through my head - cancer? TB? I feel angry towards the GP like I want to punch him. The violence, and the potential devastation of the underlying diagnosis, wake me up.
Day 1
Vegetable lentil stew, sesame coated curry balls.
Again 2 dreams.
I'm standing on broadway near UTS and the sky is overcast (in reality that day it was sunny and blue during the day). The clouds are grey and looming, and I feel that it is going to rain. I'm not carrying a bag of any kind and I feel in my pockets for some change so I can catch the bus. I find only a single $10 note and remember anyway that you can't buy a ticket on the bus anymore. I decide to start walking home.
As I walk home it starts to sprinkle, but it's not particularly unpleasant so I keep walking. As I get to the corner of Cleveland St, a girl approaches me and asks me some questions which I can't remember. I go with her to her place, where there is an old man sitting in the dark, looking miserable. I start talking to him while the girl is making some hot drinks for us. He is depressed and desolate, and I'm trying to cheer him up by talking about when he was young. After a while he looks up and says, you think I want to be here? I'm not even this girl's father! But I must stay here and look after her. I am shocked and wake up
In the second dream, I am standing in the lobby of a tall apartment building which I don't recognise. The mailman comes out of the lift and asks me if I want to go get dinner. I say that I want to go by myself, so I set off alone and it is very dark outside. After walking for some time without any direction, I come to a street full of lights and I recognise that it is the main street in Shanghai, Nanjing Rd. I walk along this road looking for a restaurant but I can't find any - which frustrates me no end as I know there are heaps of places to eat along this road. Eventually I decide to go back to the mailman's place, but I can't find my way back to the apartment. I linger near the intersection where I think the road is, and eventually I find a small doorway with a glimmer of light amongst the darkness. Through the doorway I enter a little room, manned by two people, an old man and an old woman. They ask me how much I want to pay and I ask them why I have to pay. You have to pay to leave this place, don't you understand? So I take out my wallet and try to give them some money, but every note I take out is blue (there are no blue Chinese notes) and I can't pay them with any of them! So I wake up.
Day 2
Vegetable curry, plain dal and rice. Apple crumble.
I dream that I am inducing anaesthesia for a patient, who appears to be a fit young man. After the drugs, I intubate him and everything seems to be going well, yet the oxygen saturation alarm keeps going down and down. I turn around and see that the sats are 70%. I turn the flows up and bag him hard, but the Sats keep going down and they are now 50%. He starts going blue - I take out the tube, mask ventilate him hard, but the Sats keep dropping and they are now 30%. Then I realise that the oxygen connection has been disconnected at the wall, but it's too late and the patient dies.
Day 3
Kidney bean curry, roasted eggplant. Date slice.
I'm showing a couple around this apartment which I have apparently chosen for them. The apartment is bound on all sides by massive glass windows and it is night time outside. I recognise the skyline as being that of Auckland, and I wonder why I have chosen this place.
Going into each room, I feel so pleased with the setting of the place. Everything - the walls, the carpet, the decor - seems perfect, and I realise that this is my ideal place. I start looking around to try to remember what it is about the place that I like. And then I overhear the couple arguing about whether they should take the place or not, because it's too expensive at $450/week. At that moment I'm in the bedroom and there is a rustic bookshelf over the top of the bed - what a great idea! I think, you can read whatever you want before bed. And the bookshelves are stacked full of cookbooks that I want to read too.
The couple come into the bedroom and say to me that they need some time to consider. In the mean time they said they wanted to meet up with their other friends for dessert at Mr Wong's, a new dessert bar that has opened up in the city. I go with them, and it is a dark smoky trendy bar serving all sorts of drinks. When our dessert is served, I realise with a start that it is stir fried celery with pieces of lung.
Day 4
Tofu curry, bok choy, beetroot & carrot salad.
On this day, I have two extremely vivid dreams.
I am walking along the corridor in some public building (looks like a government building) and suddenly someone ahead of me collapses. I run to him and it is a middle aged man. I start doing CPR on him and call for someone to get an ambulance. A woman walks past and introduces herself as a nurse. She starts doing CPR while I go to the head end and get ready to do ventilations. The next moment I realise that the compressions have stopped and the woman is answering her phone, honey sorry I can't talk right now, I'm really busy... and I want to shout at her, don't stop the compressions!
A man with an ipad walks past and says he can tell what the underlying rhythm is using a new app. The man appears to be in pulseless VT, but there's no way we can shock him! I tell the nurse to keep doing CPR while I start thinking about where an automated defibrillator might be kept. Then I hear gurgling noises and I realise that the middle aged man has turned into a really old lady, who is not dead at all, but she's too weak to protest the CPR.
In the other dream, I am a homeless person and I live in a derelict rubble-filled building along with some other homeless friends. One of them tells me that the building we are in is due to be taken down soon, so we have to move somewhere. Across the road there are two buildings under construction, and we decide to move there. Another man pipes up and says that he has met a woman who wants to look after him on the 20th floor of the building on the right. We look carefully at the buildings and agree that we will each make our way there in teams of two and meet up on the 20th floor with our friend and his girlfriend. As we run across the road, I am distinctly aware of how dirty my clothes are.
My partner and I approach the building on the right, but realise you need an access card to enter. I have one but my partner doesn't, so we decide to enter the building on the left. I look at my access card and I am a blonde woman (I've forgotten the name!) with the job title TV presenter. How ridiculous, I think in the dream. We get in the lift and press 20. As it goes up we discuss how we are going to jump from this building to the next building - then the door opens and it is like the apocalypse outside.
The wind is howling, the sun is bright red and the dust is gritty in our eyes. We shield our faces from the dust storm and try to see where we are going. This is not going to work! I shout to my partner but I can't even see one foot in front of me so I have no idea where he is. I try to grope along the wall to feel where the lift is, but I can't. Eventually I stumble into a wall and with much relief, feel the cool steel of the lift door under my fingers. My partner is standing right next to me at that moment and we wait for the lift to come again. When the door opens we rush in, and then we realise that it's too late to get out and the lift is completely broken. It starts sinking with a rush and I think this is it, I'm going to die. Then it slams to a stop and the floor starts to crumble. We scramble madly onto a corner and hold onto the metal ropes holding the remnants of the lift together. It falls further and I scream. Sparks start to fizzle everywhere now, and I don't know where to put my hands or feet. Then I wake up.
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