Patient with STEMI: Doctor, I have this terrible pain in my chest, it's just like a buffalo is sitting on my chest!
Kirsty: Why would the surgeons even ask for an ECG? So they can fold it up and fan themselves?!
Dr Chacko (trying to explain to a patient going for a mitral valvuloplasty using a model of the heart): Guys, where is the mitral valve?
Patient with a stroke: my body was just swaying, like a tree in a cyclone
At handover, after 30 admissions: we need to marinate our brains in coconut liquor to continue
Dr McDonald: some patients are clearly obligate anaerobes
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